Alcohol was a present in my life since my teenage years. It was more of a social thing then self medicating, but it was there. I kept trying to fit in, and be what I considered normal. My upbringing was somewhat complicated. So I pushed it all down. I started remembering my past after my son was born. I was 22. I started self medicating with weed a few years after that. I was stoned 24/7 for 9 years. I wouldn’t leave my home without it. I parented, worked, socialized, biked, wrote, did yoga while stoned. At age 36 I found myself depleted, and I felt like I was dying spiritually. I stopped writing and dreaming. I tried quitting a few times, but failed each time, getting more down on myself.
Laughing River Yoga was the first studio I went to for my very first class. I was 30, was biking more and had gotten some therapy (while stoned). Later, I met a person, who himself being sober challenged me to take a month long break from drinking and weed. I laughed at first, thinking I’d be happy to last a week without it. Keeping a job and simply existing was hard enough. The need for a more substantial inner change kept growing. I saw posters for YTT at Laughing River. If I could get sober, maybe I could do the training, I thought. I got sober September 12th. Training started the 21st.
After the first weeks of the pink cloud of sobriety, the reality came crashing down. Everything started coming up for air from the bottoms of my soul. Having a yoga teacher training, especially the way it is set up at LRY, really helped me. Starting with Sofi’s suggestion to “commit to one minute on the mat”, I gave myself space to start learning how to be gentle, compassionate and patient with myself. One minute seemed something I could accomplish. I have been sober 9 months, and my commitment to the spiritual path made me realize that is how I want to stay. I was the one that changed my life, but yogic teachings will always remain one of the main tools in helping me live my truth and continue with further healing. At this point yoga and meditation are a part of my daily practice, and I am very proud of the discipline I was able to achieve through my training.