With minds that are programmed to remember the bad rather than the good, appreciations can go a long way.  Easy to do, they shift our perspective from critical to compassionate and allow us to connect deeply and authentically with the people in our lives.  Small actions can have a big difference.   Try finding three people in your life and offer each of them the gift of an appreciation.  Then, notice the effects.

Elements of an Appreciation (taken from Marshall Rosenberg’s Non Violent Communication process)

Three Parts:


OBSERVATION Be Specific. The observation does not include an evaluation of what happened. Just the facts.

FEELINGS What feelings did you have in response to the observation? Feelings are not thoughts.

NEEDS MET What needs were fulfilled that engendered the pleasurable feelings?


When you brought chocolate chip cookies to our group meeting (OBSERVATION) I felt ecstatic (FEELING) because I had been craving dessert (NEEDS MET).

When you gave me a hug before class (OBSERVATION) I felt relieved (FEELING) because I had wanted to feel a connection with you.

When you put away your work and sat down to listen to my story about my son (OBSERVATION) I felt loved (FEELING) because you made me a priority.


Let us know how it goes!